Mischief in Midgard
by whoperhero
Summary: Thor and Loki epically fail at understanding Earth customs. Takes place after the Avengers. Will include appearances by Thor characters.
1. Epic Fail Pizza

**Epic Fail Pizza**

"THIS BEITH A TERRIBLE DAY!" Thor yells.

Loki sighs. "Perhaps eating a piece-of would cheer you up.

"What is this piece-of you speak of?" Thor asks, looking confused.

"You knowith not?" Loki asks incredulously. When Thor still looks confused, Loki chuckles. "My brother, a piece-or is a delicacy among mortals. It is a type of bread that is baked with cheese and some form of tomato. At times, there are other toppings as well. It comes in a circle, but you must eat it in triangle-shaped pieces. Therefore, it is called a piece-of.

Thor's eyes are wide. "How can I obtain this piece-of? I MUST HAVE IT!" he yells, slamming his fist on the table.

"Be patient, my brother, and I shall find us some," Loki says.

Thor stands up. "I AM A GOD!" he bellows. "I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE PATIENT!"

Loki stares back at Thor calmly. "Perhaps you should fight a monster to build up your appetite and leave the talking to me."

"YES!" Thor yells. "I SHALL EMERGE FROM BATTLE VICTORIOUS, THEN FEAST ON PIECE-OF!" He frowns. "Wait, did thou mocketh me?"

Loki smiles. "I shall order the piece-of," he says, then walks away before Thor can respond.

After walking down a few hallways, Loki comes to the room with the telephone. As Loki pulls out the pizza menu, he chuckles. When Odin decided to install an inter-dimensional telephone line, Loki made fun of him to anyone who would listen. Now, however, Loki realizes he was wrong. Not that he'd admit it, of course.

After finding the number on the menu, Loki makes the call.

"Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut! My name is Pizza Guy. What can I get for you?" a voice says.

"Give me a piece-of, mortal!" Loki demands.

Pizza Guy coughs. "Um, did you say you want a pizza?" he asks.

"Yes!" Loki snaps.

"Well then, you've called the right place!" Pizza Guy says enthusiastically. "If you could just give me your phone number, I'll get started on your pizza right away!"

"My phone number? Why do you need that?!" Loki snarls.

"Oh good, it's already in our system!" Pizza Guy cheers. "Is it ###-###-####?"

"Yeah, sure, fine," Loki grumbles.

"Alrighty then!" Pizza Guy says excitedly. "So will this be for pick-up or delivery?"

"Wait, what now?!" Loki asks angrily.

"You can pick the pizza up here, or we can deliver it to where you are," Pizza Guy explains.

"Oh," Loki replies. "Well, planning world domination is exhausting. You can deliver it hers."

"Alrighty then!" Pizza guy chuckles. "I just need your address."

"Azgard," Loki replies.

"Alright, and how is that spelled?" Pizza Guy asks.

"You knowith not?!" Loki exclaims. "Foolish mortal! It is A-Z-G-A-R-D!"

"Ok, let me just type that in, and… it's not showing up. Does your street have another name?"

"Try. Valhalla." Loki says through gritted teath.

"Ok, let me just punch that in and… nope, that's not showing up either. Sir, are you sure you live in Cleveland, Ohio?"

"It's Valhalla!" Loki snaps, losing what little patience he had. "You know, the one and only? Big, huge castle in Azgard? You take a left at the Pegasus stables, and—hello? HELLO?!"

When Loki realizes the pizza guy hung up, he screams in frustration, then slams down the phone.

**AN: Hey, if any of you made it to the end feel free to review :) This is my first Fan-Fiction, so I'm sure I can improve. I don't have much of a plot in mind, each chapter will probably be its own mini-story.**


	2. Halloween Hijinks

**Halloween Hijinks**

**AN: Hello, this is a really late Halloween story. Hooray for procrastination! **

"Loki!" Thor yells, bursting into the room. "The Midgardians are celebrating at the Hall of Ween!"

Loki rolls his eyes. "No, _. The celebration is _called_ Halloween, and it happens all over Midgard." **AN: So I'm trying to think of some Asgardian insult for Loki to say, but for some reason all I can think of is the Doctor from Doctor Who calling people "pudding brains", lol. If anyone can think of a good insult, let me know. **

Thor's face lights up. "You know about this holiday? Then let us go to Midgard and celebrate it together!"

Loki raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to? After all," he grins mischievously, "it is a holiday of tricks and treats, and as the god of mischief, I have a reputation to uphold. Be forewarned, brother, that I will trick even you."

Thor laughs heartily. "If you think you can scare me, you are mistaken. I am not afraid of anything!"

"Oh really?" Loki replies, his voice dangerously quiet.

"Yes," Thor says, although it's not entirely true.

Loki stares at Thor, his green eyes boring into Thor in a way that says "challenge accepted." Then he smirks. "Well then, let us go to Midgard."

Thor and Loki arrive in Jane's driveway, leaving a mark of bifrost energy in their wake. "Thor! I'm so glad you could make it!" Jane says. She starts to walk towards Thor, then stops with a gasp when she finally notices Loki. "What's he doing here?" Jane asks Thor, while keeping her eyes on Loki.

"_Thor's_ _father_ decided the only fitting punishment for me is to be stripped of my powers and forced to learn your pathetic Midgardian customs," Loki says, interrupting Thor. Loki grins. "Fortunately, this holiday is quite amusing."

Jane glares at him. "Well, as long as you don't cause any trouble…"

Loki pretends to look hurt. "When do I ever cause trouble?"

"YOU—"Jane begins, but she is interrupted by her friend Darcy.

"Thor, long time no see!" she says in greeting. Then she sees Loki. "And you are?"

Loki looks outraged. "I AM THE KING OF AZGARD!" he glares. "Well, I will be."

Darcy still looks confused. "Sooo, does that mean you're related to Thor or something?"

Thor says "Yes," at the same time as Loki says "No!"

"Oookay…" Darcy says, looking more confused than ever. "Well, anyways, this is my Halloween costume party. So come on in!"

"A costume party?!" Thor says, looking panicked. "BUT I HAVE NO COSTUME!"

Darcy frowns. "What do you mean? What you're wearing is fine."

Thor looks at his outfit in disbelief. He is wearing the same armored and caped outfit that he wore during the battle of New York. Loki's outfit is a bit more subtle, lacking the golden helmet and scepter, yet still his favorite shade of green. Jane is dressed as a cat, and Darcy is wearing a pirate costume.

Thor continues to look sad. "It's ok, you look fine," Jane says, in an effort to cheer him up.

Thor just nods. Suddenly, his eyes light up "I HAVETH AN IDEA!" he shouts. "I SHALL BE COSTUMED AS THOR THE MORTAL!" Loki facepalms.

_Come on, come on, come on! _Loki grumbles, waiting for Thor to walk over to the candy bowl. Loki knows how much his brother likes candy, so he hid a little… _surprise_ at the bottom. Nothing life threatening, just something to stop Thor from bragging about being fearless. Loki chuckled at that thought. _Fearless. Oh, sure, Thor can take down monsters all right, but when it comes to smaller things…_

Loki hears giggling and looks around. A group of girls are standing nearby and staring at him. When they notice him looking at them, they burst into another fit of giggles and quickly look away. For a moment, Loki wonders what they were laughing about, then he rolls his eyes. Loki wants to see Thor's face when he gets pranked, and these girls are distracting him. Scowling, he looks back at the candy bowl. And not a moment too soon, as Thor is now starting to eat. Loki grins and walks closer.

"Wow, nice Thor costume!" one of Darcy's friends says to Thor.

"I'm no' tho', I'm a mor'l!" Thor says proudly with his mouth full. Loki cringes. _Manners! _He wishes Thor would hurry up and find his prank.

Fortunately, he does not have long to wait. The next time Thor reaches for candy, he looks at his hand in confusion, then screams! Loki laughs till his chest aches as Thor swats frantically at the spider on his hand, screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

"Afraid of spiders, are you?" Loki snickers.

"LOKI!" Thor yells. "IT IS NOT FUNNY! SPIDERS ARE TERRIFYING BEASTS!"

Loki laughs harder. "I'm sorry? I thought you weren't afraid of anything?"

Thor, who finally managed to shake the spider off, simply glares at Loki as he keeps laughing.


	3. Loopholes of Laziness

**Loopholes of Laziness**

** AN: Hello, thanks for reviewing **** I have no clue if Thor is actually afraid of spiders or not, but the thought popped into my head and it was too funny to resist! **

** I just realized I forgot to post this:**

** Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.**

** There, it is posted.**

"What shall we do today?" Thor asks.

Loki looks up from the book he's reading, shrugs, then goes back to reading.

Thor frowns. "Come on brother, there are adventures to be had!"

Sighing, Loki looks up. "Firstly, you are not my brother, and second, I am not interested in your so-called 'adventures' that involve battling random creatures throughout the Nine Realms. Now if you will excuse me, I would like to finish this book."

Loki glances down at his book only to be interrupted again, this time by the Odin. "LOKI!" the All-Father yells, storming into the room. "ARE YOU DISSOBEYING MY ORDERS?!"

"It would seem that is a rhetorical question, seeing as your magic requires me to do some Midgardian nonsense at least once a day," Loki replies smoothly. "Or should I say _Earth_ nonsense," Loki continues, a mischievous glint in his eye. "That is what the mortals call their realm, is it not?"

"It is indeed," Odin replies.

Loki smirks. "Well then, it appears I have learned something new about… Earth. Therefore, I have no need to go there today."

Odin's face turns red, and he opens his mouth, only to close it again as he realizes Loki managed to find a loophole in his magic. And with that, Loki returns to his book.

**AN: Loki tricks again! Haha, sorry if this is a bit short and not as funny. I figured I should at least somewhat explain why Loki is willing to do goofy things with Thor instead of fighting him or trying to take over the world again. I'm not sure if Odin could really cast a spell on Loki that would force him to be nicer and learn about Earth culture, but I couldn't think of any other reason for this story to exist, so yeah :P.**


	4. Cats vs Dogs

**Cats vs. Dogs**

"Loki! Wake up!" Thor yells, knocking on his bedroom door.

Loki wakes up, but ignores his brother, hoping he will go away.

"WAKE UP!" Thor yells, pounding even harder.

"WHAT?!" Loki yells back, majorly annoyed. "It's not even noon yet, go away!"

"You were planning to sleep to noon?!" Thor asks, sounding horrified. "But you would miss so much adventure!"

Loki mumbles something that sounds like "whatever," then closes his eyes.

"LOKI!"

Sighing, Loki opens his eyes again. "What brings you here, Odin?"

"I DID NOT CAST A SPELL ON YOU SO YOU COULD REST! YOU MAY HAVE FOUND A LOOPHOLE YESTERDAY, BUT I FIXED THE SPELL, SO TODAY YOU MUST GO TO MIDGARD!"

Loki groans. "Fine."

"Let us get ready with haste, brother, for I have found an adventure!" Thor says excitedly. Grudgingly, Loki obeys.

...

After being nearly dragged across the rainbow bridge by Thor, Loki is surprised to be teleported to some random store. "This is your big adventure?" Loki scoffs. "A Midgardian marketplace?"

Thor grins. "It is not just any shop, it is a place of ferocious beasts!"

Loki sighs. "If that sign is any indication, I am soon to be disappointed," he says, pointing to a sign above the shop that features a furry, four-legged critter with a wagging tail.

"Fear not!" Thor says, ignoring Loki. "I came here once before when I was stranded with Lady Jane. They do not have horses, but they have all manners of other beasts. It will be an adventure!" he exclaims, walking into the store.

Loki rolls his eyes, wondering how Thor could possibly consider this an adventure. He considers looking around for something better to do, but curiosity gets the better of him, so he steps inside.

Upon entering, Loki sees cages full of various creatures, none of which are large enough to be considered "ferocious". Loki scoffs. _Pitiful creatures. _He finds the lizards and snakes to be at least worthy of a longer glance, but not nearly large enough to meet his approval.

"YOUR FUR BEITH SO SOFT!" Thor exclaims. Curious, Loki walks over to the next isle to find Thor petting a Golden Retriever. An employee glares at Thor for yelling, but the dog doesn't seem to mind, it starts wagging its tail.

"Are you quite done?" Loki asks, smiling slightly despite himself.

"Come and join me!" Thor exclaims. "Let us marvel at this creature's soft fur."

"I would rather not," Loki says, starting to walk away.

"But Loki!" Thor exclaims. "How can you not find this creature adorable?"

Loki looks at the dog, drool spilling out of its mouth, its tail wagging ridiculously. As he watches, it tries to sniff Thor's behind. "I have my reasons," he says simply, then walks away.

Loki had planned to leave the store, but on the way out, he gets distracted by something. The _something_ happens to be a brown tabby with green eyes. Curled up in the dark back of its cage, the cat's fur looks almost black, and his green eyes sparkle mischievously. Fascinated, Loki stares at the cat, and the cat stares back at him. Then slowly, lazily, the cat gets up and stretches, then walks to the front of its cage. It sniffs Loki's hand, then, deeming Loki acceptable, rubs his furry cheek against Loki's hand. Loki smiles.

"Ah, yes, I see you've met Huckleberry," the store owner says, taking Huckleberry out of his cage. "He's a friendly cat. You'll have to keep an eye on him though, as he tends to get into trouble."

"Excellent," Loki replies, his grin stretching as wide as it will go. "I'll take him."

"Are you sure?" the store owner replies, a bit startled. "Most potential owners like to spend more time with an animal before deciding—"

"I AM LOKI OF ASGARD AND I DEMAND THIS CREATURE AS MY PET!" Loki yells.

The store owner gulps. "S-Sir, I c-can't just—"but Loki doesn't stick around to find out what he was going to say. Loki sprints out of the store, cat in his arms, with a surprised Thor following closely behind. A burst of bifrost energy later, and they are nowhere to be seen.

**AN: So my friend showed me this funny picture of a dog wearing a Thor helmet and a cat wearing a Loki helmet, and that kind of inspired me to write this story. Also, the scene in the first Thor movie where Thor goes to a pet shop and announces "I require a horse!" lol :) By the way, Huckleberry is one of my family's two cats. So Loki steals my cat in this story, because randomness:) **


	5. Snow Day

**Snow Day**

**AN: There was a huge snowstorm where I live on Friday, and it inspired me to write this. It's more about Loki's (gasp) feelings, so sorry if it's not very funny. The next one will be.**

Heimdall is observing the cosmos, when he sees Thor and Loki running across the rainbow bridge. "Heimdall, what is happening in the Nine Realms?" Thor asks. "Be there anything exciting?"

"There are no extremely rare events," Heimdall replies.

"None at all?" Thor asks, disappointed.

Heimdall looks for a minute, then says, "Well, there is a large snowstorm covering part of Midgard."

Thor frowns. "If that is all, then I shall seek adventure elsewhere."

Loki raises an eyebrow. "And endure the wrath of the All-Father? I think not. Have you forgotten, brother, that I must go to Midgard each day?"

Thor sighs. "You are right, we must go. Perhaps our adventure should be to venture through the snow. After all," Thor grins. "You used to have so much fun playing in the snow."

You know when something sounds good in your head, but once you say it, you realize it was incredibly stupid? That's how Thor feels when he remembers Loki is really a Frost Giant. Instantly, Loki tenses up and glares at Thor. "I'm sorry, brother, I didn't mean—"

"Don't 'brother' me!" Loki hisses.

"I really didn't mean—"

"But you did, because you were always Odin's favorite, while I was just… just a Jotun _baby_ that plays in the snow!" Loki snarls.

"Loki! I cannot speak for Odin, but I see us as equals!" Thor exclaims, trying to shout some sense into Loki's head. "And I also liked to play in the snow."

Loki is about to attack Thor, when suddenly, the Bifrost is activated. With a startled yell, Thor and Loki find themselves on Earth.

Heimdall, who activated the Bifrost, smiles. Then, turning his gaze in the direction of Earth, he waits to see if his plan will succeed.

…...

Thor and Loki arrive on someone's driveway. A rather icy driveway, as Thor discovers as he tries to take a step forwards. He ends up falling over backwards with an "Ooff!" Loki moves to attack Thor, but trips as well, and ends up falling forwards into a pile of snow. Wincing, Thor gets up, then offers a hand to Loki. "I don't need your help!" he snarls, except his mouth is full of snow, so it sounds like "I no ee u el," while snow flies out of his mouth.

Thor can't help it, he laughs. Furious, Loki prepares to attack Thor, when he realizes that, in fact, he did look quite ridiculous. Loki sighs. "Well, Thor, you have your wish. Here we are, surrounded by snow," he says, spreading his arms out to indicate the blizzard all around. "What do you wish to do?"

Thor thinks for a second, then his eyes light up. "Let us make the angels of snow!"

"I refuse!" Loki says immediately, crossing his arms.

"But you used to love this!" Thor says, sounding hurt.

Loki sighs. "That was a long time ago." _Back when things were better, when I thought we were equals._

"Come on, it will be fun," Thor says, laying down and moving his arms and legs so that the imprint he leaves behind will be in the shape of an angel.

Loki tries again to refuse, only to find that Odin's magic is forcing him to cooperate. Scowling, he lies down and starts making a snow angel. _An angel, that's a laugh. I'm no angel. I'm the stuff of Asgardian nightmares, _he thinks, remembering his blue skin with the icicle- like bumps and his creepy red eyes.

What Loki doesn't realize is that as he remembers his true form, he actually shape shifts back into it. Thor, who has just finished making his snow angel, looks up and gasps. "Oh Loki," he murmurs, pulling Loki in for a hug. Loki's eyes widen as he realizes too late what happened. "Get your hands off me!" he screams, pushing Thor away, while simultaneously changing back into his Asgardian form.

When Thor continues to gaze at Loki sadly, Loki gets fed up. "I don't need your pity!" he snaps. "In fact, I'm glad that I can't feel the cold!" Loki says, as he sees Thor shiver due to his lack of coat.

"Oh that can't be good, dearie. Are you sure you don't have frostbite?"

Loki and Thor turn around and find the elderly lady who lives in the house they are next to is standing in the driveway. Loki's first instinct is to ignore this pathetic mortal woman, but something about her concern for him reminds Loki of his mom.

"No, I don't have frostbite. Not feeling cold is… a special ability of mine."

"Oh, you're a mutant," the elderly lady says. "Oh don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Oh, but it would be so nice, since you're here and all, would you be a lamb and scrape this snow off my car? I would do it myself, but my hip is acting up, you see, and since you don't feel cold and all, would you mind terribly to help me?"

Normally, Loki would say no, but for some reason, he finds himself saying yes. It takes a while for him to scrape the half-foot of snow and ice off the car, but when he does, the elderly lady is beaming. "Oh thank you so much! You know, you remind me of my grandson. He always stops to help everyone, even if it leaves him no time to himself. 'You've got to rest,' I tell him, 'You're working too hard,' but he just smiles and says it's what he wants to do."

Loki doesn't have the heart to tell her that this is the first time he's helped anyone. That just a few weeks ago, he tried to take over her world. There is a lump in his throat that is making it hard to breathe.

"Well you take care now, and make sure your friend doesn't catch a cold," the lady says, waving goodbye to Loki.

Loki smiles for the first time in a long time. "Actually, he's my brother."

**AN: Hey, so I hope that wasn't completely terrible. Next chapter will be fluffier. Unfortunately, I'm starting a new job (I'm in school, but I'll be working part-time), so I won't have as much time to write. I should be able to do one chapter a week, maybe two.**


	6. Banished to Annoyingness

**Banished to Annoyingness**

**AN: Thanks for all your support! Green Absynthe: Glad you like it :) Thor and Loki talked in Old English a bit in the movies (at least in the English version of the movies), so I attempted to use Old English as well. I'm not really sure if I was using it right though, which is why I cut back a lot after the first chapter.**

** On to the story!**

Heimdall watches as the elderly lady drives away. He is happy that his plan to get Loki to do a good deed has succeeded. Satisfied, he presses the leaver to return Thor and Loki to Asgard. Thor arrives shivering, and Loki with a strange expression on his face. As soon as Loki sees Heimdall, however, he scowls. "That was a mean trick to play."

"What is that I hear about tricks?!" Odin asks, walking towards them. "LOKI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

"Actually, Loki just helped someone," Thor says, defending Loki.

"Really?" Odin asks incredulously. "What could cause such a thing?"

"I stranded Loki near someone I thought he would help," Heimdall replies.

Odin looks thoughtful for a second, then he smiles. "I have a plan!" he announces. "Loki, from this moment on, you will be stranded on Midgard!" Odin waves his hand, and Loki disappears in a flash of magic. Then Odin turns to Thor. "Your time on Midgard did you good. You shall return as well." A flash of magic later, and Thor is banished to Earth as well.

…...

Jane and Darcy are about to head out for the evening. They have just gotten in the car together, and Darcy is starting to back up, when Loki suddenly appears behind them in the driveway! Darcy screams as she slams on her brakes, though not quite soon enough, as she knocks him over. Frantically, Darcy starts to go forwards up the driveway, only to scream again as the front of her car crashes into Thor!

As her adrenaline rush goes away, Darcy starts to giggle. "It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men—" she sings, until Jane elbows her. "What?" Darcy asks innocently. Jane rolls her eyes. "Come on, let's see if Thor is ok."

Jane and Darcy get out of the car and find that Thor is a bit bruised up, but conscious. "Thor, are you alright?" Jane asks, concerned.

Thor grins. "It will take more than that to stop the mighty Thor!"

"Thank goodness!" Jane exclaims, giving Thor a hug. "I promise the two of us will stop hitting you with cars."

"HAS NO ONE NOTICED THAT I, LOKI OF ASGARD, HAVE ALSO BEEN ATTACKED BY THE METAL BEAST?!" Loki yells, walking up to them.

"Oh, it's you," Jane whispers. Then she slaps him. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DESTROYING NEW YORK!" she yells. Loki stares at her in shock.

"AND THIS IS, LIKE, 'CAUSE THAT, AND 'CAUSE I HATE YOU TOO!" Darcy yells, slapping him as well. Loki finally gets over his shock and glares at the two of them as he rubs his cheek.

"So, um, what brings you here?" Jane asks Thor. She leans closer and whispers "and why is _he_ here?"

Thor sighs. "Odin banished my brother to your planet, and decided it would be best for me to go as well."

Jane's eyes widen. "Wait, so Loki's stuck here?!"

"Shit!" Darcy exclaims.

"Do not worry, my brother and I are without our powers," Thor explains.

"You didn't have to tell them that!" Loki grumbles.

"Well that's good," Jane replies to Thor, while glaring at Loki.

"Good," Thor smiles, "then it is settled. We shall stay at your house."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" Jane and Darcy yell.

**AN: So I actually have a plan for this story! Well, at least a few chapters of it. I felt like I was running out of ideas for just Thor and Loki, so for now they will be living with Jane and Darcy, and will epically fail at getting along with each other. **

**Just wondering, would anyone be really disappointed if I changed the story rating to T? I have an idea for a chapter that might need a higher rating, but what do you think?**


	7. Annoying Houseguests

**Annoying Houseguests**

** AN: If anyone noticed I changed the rating to T, it's less because of major changes and more because I wasn't sure if it should be K+ or T in the first place. There might be some swearing from Jane and Darcy, and some mild flirting, that's about it. **

"Thor," Jane says, trying to stay calm, "I'm always glad when you visit, but bringing Loki is a different story."

"Like, hel-LO! He's evil!" Darcy exclaims.

"Believe me, I have no desire to stay with Thor and his lady friend," Loki says coolly. "I shall be on my way."

"No!" Thor exclaims, when Loki starts to walk away. "We shall stay together."

….

After some time spent arguing, everyone reluctantly agrees to stay under one roof. "So, um, make yourselves at home," Jane says, pointedly looking only at Thor. "We have Netflix, board games—"

"Have you any pop tarts?" Thor asks.

Jane laughs. "Of course, silly. I wouldn't forget your favorite snack."

"HORRAY!" Thor cheers. Loki rolls his eyes.

Unfortunately, Thor's cheering turns into a sneeze. Jane looks at Thor and realizes that he is shivering even though it's warm in New Mexico. "Are you alright?" Jane asks, concerned.

"It is just a lingering chill from the snow of Ohio," Thor says, unconcerned. Then he sneezes again.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Jane asks, still not convinced. "How about you take a warm shower, and then I'll make you some hot chocolate?"

"Is this so-called chocolate as good as pop tarts?" Thor asks doubtfully.

Jane smiles. "It's the best!"

Thor grins. "Then I shall shower!" With that, he leaves the room.

….

There is an awkward silence as Jane, Darcy, and Loki are now the only people in the room. They stand there in silence for a few seconds, when suddenly, their eardrums are blasted with singing from another room.

"Is that… Thor?" Darcy asks, trying not to laugh.

Jane looks horrified. "I hope not. He's never sung in front of me, and I would hope he's not that tone-deaf."

Loki chuckles. "You are mistaken then. Thor is certainly the worst singer in Asgard."

"Nooooo!" Jane wails, covering her ears with her hands as Loki and Darcy laugh at her. To make matters worse, Thor starts singing even louder!

"Where did Thor learn opera?" Darcy asks Loki, earning another groan from Jane.

Loki frowns. "Opera? This is an ancient Asgardian ballad."

"Oh, sorry. It's… nice," Darcy says.

Loki scoffs. "Only a stupid mortal would think Thor's singing nice. _This_ is how it's _supposed_ to sound." And with that, Loki starts quietly humming the same song, and with much better pitch then Thor.

Darcy's jaw drops. "Omg, you can sing!"

Loki glares at her. "Of course I can. I am a god." But secretly, Loki is glad Darcy likes his singing.

"Oookay, I'll start the hot chocolate then," Jane says, trying to ease the awkwardness. She gets out a cup, only for Loki to get angry.

"You would make Thor this drink and not me?! I AM A GOD! I DEMAND THIS DRINK OF CHOCOLATE!"

Jane crosses her arms. "Say please."

"WHAAAAT?!" "YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME THIS WAY?! I WILL TURN YOU INTO...INTO…" Loki trails off as he realizes he no longer has his powers. Unable to use magic on her, he does the next best thing.

….

Thor is humming to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. Upon entering, however, he is met with a strange sight. Loki and Jane are yelling and throwing marshmallows at each other! Thor looks to Darcy for an explanation, but as soon as she sees him, Darcy starts laughing like crazy and muttering something about "singing." More confused than ever, Thor is about to leave the kitchen, when he sees a piping hot mug of some liquid on the table. Deciding this must be the hot chocolate Jane promised him, Thor takes a sip. His eyes widen. "THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN POP TARTS!"


	8. Thanks for Nothing!

**Thanks for Nothing!**

** AN: Hello :) Today is the holiday of Thanksgiving in the United States. For those of you from other countries, Thanksgiving started when Pilgrims (people who came over from Europe) and Native Americans shared a feast together. Nowadays, at least in my family, all of my extended family meets at my aunt and uncle's house and we eat a lot of turkey and other foods. (Turkey is the one food that is always served at Thanksgiving.) Aaand this is starting to sound like a history lesson. On to the story!**

The next morning, Thor helps himself to a breakfast of pop tarts and hot chocolate. Jane looks concerned. She is about to comment on how unhealthy that is, when Darcy bursts in.

"Jane! How do you know when the turkey is done?!" Darcy asks in a panic.

Jane frowns. "I thought you knew?"

Darcy shifts her weight awkwardly. "Wellll, I _might_ have forgotten to put the little thermometer thingie in to tell me when it's the right temperature.

"Oh. Um, I don't know," Jane stammers. "Have you tried googling it?"

"Oh, duh!" Darcy exclaims. "I'll go do that."

Darcy goes to get her laptop. Jane stays with Thor for a bit until she smells something burning. "Darcy!" she yells.

"Shit!" Darcy exclaims, running into the kitchen. The turkey ends up completely burnt!

….

After more time spent cooking, the meal is finally done…ish. A blackened turkey, rock-hard stuffing, watery mashed potatoes and gravy, a green bean casserole that is burnt on the edges yet mushy in the middle, and lumpy cranberry sauce from a can are in the middle of the table. A smooshed store-bought pumpkin pie is off to the side for dessert.

Jane sighs. "Well, that didn't go quite as planned."

Darcy shrugs. "Hey, this is my first time cooking a Thanksgiving dinner. I'm just thankful that it's somewhat edible."

Jane smiles. "I'm thankful you were willing to cook for us."

Thor realizes it is a Thanksgiving tradition to say something you are thankful for. "I'm thankful for my brother, Loki!" he blurts out.

There is an awkward silence. It's Loki's turn to give thanks, and he isn't about to say he's thankful for Thor. Yet he doesn't want to completely ignore what Thor said either. Then the perfect response comes to him. Smirking, Loki says "I'm thankful Thor is not currently singing."

Jane and Darcy burst out laughing, while Thor just looks at them in confusion.


	9. Black Friday

**Black Friday (also known as Loki Gets Kicked out of Several Stores)**

** AN: In the United States, the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday. It's a day when most stores have huge sales on their items so people can get their Christmas shopping done, so lots of people go shopping. Unfortunately, some people can be really rude, especially if there's only one item left but more than one person wants it. Anyways, this story is about Thor and Loki shopping on Black Friday.**

"Omg, I can't wait to go Black Friday shopping!" Darcy exclaims, as the four of them enter the mall.

Loki sighs. "This place looks unimpressive, much like the metal box with wheels we took to get here." (Loki is referring to a car.)

"But it is though!" Darcy exclaims. "We can buy IPhones, laptops, tons of cloths…"

Loki pretends to yawn, then gasps as they enter a store full of electronics. Next to him, Thor gasps as well, because on the back wall of the store, hung proudly for all to see, are flat screen televisions! As if in a trance, Thor and Loki walk towards the tv's. There aren't any tv's on Asgard, so Thor and Loki look at the objects with interest.

"What beith these?" Thor asks.

"Those are televisions, or tv's for short. You can watch tv shows or movies on them. Although I don't suppose you know what those are either…" Jane trails off.

"It does not matter, I like it!" Thor exclaims.

"For once, I agree with you," Loki agrees.

Just then, a store employee walks over. "Hello, may I help you with anything?"

"Yes, I would like that tv," Thor says, pointing to the one tv left of the largest size.

"I would like that tv as well," Loki adds, not wanting any tv smaller than his brother's.

"Another!" Thor agrees, helping Loki out.

The employee frowns. "I'm sorry, but that's the last tv we have in that size."

"WHAAAAT?!" Thor and Loki yell at the same time. "But I want it!" Thor and Loki, realizing they just said the same thing, turn and glare at each other.

"It's mine, I saw it first!" Thor declares.

"But you always get what you want. That's not fair!" Loki protests.

"Well, the next time you see something before me, you can have it," Thor says. "This time, it's mine!

"I'm tired of living in your shadow! I deserve this tv!" Loki yells.

"Shut up!" Thor yells.

"You shut up!" Loki snarls.

As Thor and Loki start punching each other, security guards come and force them out of the store.

….

"Well that sucked," Darcy complains. She and Jane had gotten kicked out of the store as well. Thor looks at his bruise, then glares at Loki. Loki, with bruises of his own, glares back.

"Ooookay, I think we need to shop for something where everyone can be happy." Jane decides. "Something where you won't want the same thing. Something like… CLOTHS!"

Thor and Loki share a look. "I do not think—" Loki begins.

"Ha ha, yes! Cloths shopping will be perfect!" Darcy giggles.

Thor frowns. "Lady Jane, this idea is not—"

"Nope, you're not getting out of this," Jane teases. "We're going to give you guys a makeover!"

Thor and Loki groan.

….

Thor comes out of the dressing room wearing a long sleeve dark blue muscle shirt, dark blue jeans, and athletic shoes. Jane smiles and Darcy nods approvingly. "Alright, and turn around," Jane instructs him. Thor spins in a circle, showing off the outfit from all angles. Jane smiles. "That looks good on you. You should totally buy that."

"Ok," Thor says, not caring whether his outfit looks good or not. _How can these lady-folk stand all of this shopping? It beith more boring than polishing my hammer!_

Thor goes back to his dressing room just as Loki comes out of another dressing room. Jane and Darcy gasp. Loki is wearing a black leather jacket, black skinny jeans, and black shoes.

"What are you wearing?!" Jane exclaims. Loki shrugs. "Because that's definitely not helping your image of turning over a new leaf," Jane continues. "You look like you belong to a motorcycle gang!"

"I think it looks cool," Darcy says. Jane looks at her in surprise. Darcy is smiling at Loki in a strange way. Jane frowns at her.

"I shall get the outfit then," Loki says, calmly looking Darcy in the eye. Darcy blushes and looks away.

….

The cashier rings up Loki's new outfit. "Ok, that'll be one-hundred dollars, please."

"WHAAAT?!" Loki yells. "One-hundred?! But the sign said it was on sale for thirty dollars!"

"Yes, until noon. It's one-thirty."

"BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Loki yells. Security guards then promptly remove him from the store.

**AN: So... yeah. Darcy and Loki. I mentioned there would be mild flirting, but not with Darcy and Loki. I'm not planning on writing much more about that. **

**Actually, I'm kind of out of ideas right now. I can't decide whether they should have more adventures with Jane and Darcy or maybe if their friends from Asgard, like Sif and the three guys I can't remember the names of should join them on Earth. Idk. If anyone has an idea, you can message me. I'm not done with this story, it just might be awhile until my next idea.**

** Also, do you think I'm making Thor sound like really immature? I think it's kind of funny, but at the same time it's kind of a stretch from how he acts in the movies.**

**AN: Oops :( Hey, so I just realized that I forgot something in this really long author's note. I got the idea for what human clothing Thor and Loki might wear from another fan fiction. I don't remember what it's called, but I just wanted to let you know. The idea of Thor and Loki singing also came from another story, although the events, like Thor singing in the shower, were totally different. **

**Also, I just came up with an idea for another chapter! It involves Thor and Jane going on a date. I can't keep coming up with ideas forever though, so yours' are always welcome :)**


	10. The Deadly Finals

**The Deadly Finals**

**AN: Hey, I know I mentioned writing a story about Thor and Jane on a date, but finals week at my college has given me a different idea. Here it is!**

The alarm goes off, and Jane groans. She has a three-hour biology final to go to. Grumbling, Jane stumbles out of bed and walks like a zombie to the kitchen. Once there, she is greeted by Darcy.

"Hi Jane, isn't it a super-wonderful day!" Darcy says cheerfully.

Jane just stares at Darcy like she's an alien. "What are you talking about? Don't you know today's our biology final?!"

"Yeah, I'm pumped! I'm totally going to ace this!" She pumps her hand in the air. Her _shaking_ hand.

Jane sighs. "Darcy, how much coffee have you had?"

"Oh, just a cup… or two… and-a-half," Darcy answers.

Jane sighs. "Darcy, all that coffee isn't good for you. Now gimme!" she goes to the coffee maker and pours herself a cup.

Darcy raises and eyebrow. "You're going to drink coffee right after telling me not to?"

"Shut up!" Jane grumbles. She is tired and grumpy from staying up late studying. It didn't help that she woke up at two in the morning when Thor started yelling from the kitchen that they were out of Pop tarts. She had to drive out to the grocery store to get him some more. So yeah, it was definitely time for some coffee.

"Hey, cheer up," Darcy says. "It's not like this final is going to kill you."

Jane smiles. "Yeah, you're right."

After finishing her coffee and getting ready for the day, Jane and Darcy are about to head to school, when Jane realizes something. "Oh no! What about Thor and Loki?"

Darcy's look of horror matches Jane's own as they realize that immature Thor and evil Loki will be left alone in the house all day, able to cause who knows how much trouble. Jane looks at Darcy, who shrugs. "How much trouble can they get into in three hours?"

Three hours later, Jane and Darcy arrive home, exhausted from their final. They are so exhausted that they don't notice the burning smell until it's too late. The microwave explodes, sending flaming Pop tarts flying at Jane and Darcy! The two of them scream and dodge. "THOR!" Jane yells.

"Lady Jane! Have you conquered your final?" Thor asks. Then he sees the mess. "ODIN'S BEARD! WHAT DISASTER HATH BEFALLEN MY POPTARTS?!" Thor yells.

Jane puts her hands on her hips. "Well, for starters, you're supposed to put them in the toaster, not the microwave."

"Yeah, and you're supposed to take the wrappers off," Darcy scolds, eying the bits of melted plastic dripping off the Pop tarts.

"And you should always keep an eye on things you're cooking!" Jane exclaims. "I mean, seriously, what were you thinking?!"

Thor opens his mouth to respond, but is interrupted by a battle cry. The three of them turn their attention away from the steaming Pop tarts to find an even worse sight: Loki with a sword!

"He found a sword while we were away?!" Jane yells.

Darcy pales. "Wow. I guess finals actually are deadly!"

"I am the rightful ruler of Asgard!" Loki yells, then swings his sword at Thor!

Jane and Darcy scream, but are surprised when Thor laughs. "That tickles!" Loki swings at Thor again, causing him to laugh harder.

Jane and Darcy are majorly confused, that is, until Jane takes a closer look at the sword. "Loki, what is your sword made out of?" she asks in a deceptively innocent voice.

"It is made from the finest of duct tape," Loki says proudly.

Jane and Darcy burst into giggles. "Um, and _why_ is it made out of duct tape?" Jane asks.

"The Busters of Myth claim it can fix all their problems, so I figured I'd try it myself," Loki grins. "The Allfather's magic prevents me from using most weapons. Fortunately, he overlooked duct tape.

At this, Jane and Darcy giggle some more. "Um, you do realize that duct tape isn't a weapon, right?" Darcy snorts.

"Do you think me a fool? Of course it is!" Loki yells. "Just look at Thor's…" he falls silent as he realizes Thor is not injured. "I do not understand!" Loki yells. "Duct tape worked so well for the Mythbusters!"

"That's why they say 'Don't try this at home!'" Darcy singsongs.

Loki scowls, then stomps upstairs to his room and slams the door, causing Jane and Darcy to giggle at his childish behavior.

**AN: I'm not sure if the bit with Loki even makes sense, lol. I wrote that part after my Biology final, which thankfully only ended up taking an hour (the class is usually three hours long, but most of it's a lab, meaning we look at cool-looking cells under microscopes, so it's not as boring as, say, taking a three hour test. My teacher didn't say the test would be shorter, so I was really worried it would take three hours :() Anyways, I hope this makes sense. I have my last final today and then winter break! Yeah!**


	11. A Christmas Carol (or Why Loki Better St

**A Christmas Carol (or Why Loki Better Start Running!)**

Thor is woken up sometime late at night Christmas Eve, or possibly early Christmas Day, by a wailing sound. "Who is there? Show yourself!" Thor demands, a bit nervous.

"Wooooo!" A ghostly white figure drifts down from the ceiling and lands right in front of Thor's bed. "AAAAAAAH!" Thor screams, jumping about a foot in the air.

"I am the ghost of the paaaaast!" it wails. "I will show you the errors of your paaaaaaast!"

Before Thor even has time to respond, his bedroom is replaced by a scene from the past. In it, Thor and his friends are going off on an adventure without inviting Loki. "You should have been nicer to Loooooki!" the ghost wails. Then the scene shifts to the more recent past, where Thor is knocking Frost Giants around with his hammer. "And you should have been nicer to the Frooooost Giiiiiiants!" it yells. Then the scene disappears, and Thor is back in his bedroom.

Unfortunately, Thor can only relax for a few seconds before he is greeted by another ghost. "I am the ghost of Christmas Present!" it snarls. "Look at what you are messing up now!" The ghost shows him some things that have happened recently, such as him arguing with Jane, and Loki trying to kill him yet again. "And no wonder! You suck!" the ghost sneers at him. The ghost vanishes abruptly, leaving Thor in his bedroom once again.

Thor is on the verge of tears, when a third ghost appears. It doesn't say anything, just waves its hand. A scene appears that hasn't happened yet, but, because of the prophecies, Thor recognizes all too well. _Ragnarok. _As Thor watches, the Nine Realms fight to the death, with Thor and Loki at the center of it all.

"STOP!" Thor yells, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I do not wish this to happen! What must I do to stop it?"

The ghost pulls out a piece of paper. On it is written a promise that Thor will allow Loki to be king. There is a line for Thor to sign. With a trembling hand, Thor reaches for the paper…

"Thor! Are you ok?!" Jane yells bursting into his room, still in her pajamas. "I heard you screaming!"

Thor sighs. "No. This ghost and two others have shown me what a terrible job I have done at being king. But all will be well after I sign this paper."

Jane takes in the ghost and the paper in astonishment. Then she looks all the way at the back of Thor's room and scowls. "Thor, have you looked behind you lately?" she asks through gritted teeth.

"I see no point!" Thor sobs. "I have tried so hard to be a good king, but it appears that I will still fail!" he wails.

"Thor!" Jane yells. "Look. Behind. You."

Sighing, Thor turns around and sees Loki standing at the back of his room and casting a spell. "Loki? What are you doing here?" Thor asks.

Loki's eyes widen. "You can see me?! I thought the spell prevented that! Shit!"

Thor turns back to Jane in confusion. "I do not understand…" His eyes widen as he realizes what has happened. "Loki has cast a spell on me?"

"Yep," Jane replies, having realized this a few seconds before Thor.

"So the ghosts and visions I saw were just Loki's illusions?" Thor turns to look at the ghost, which has now disappeared, leaving only the document that would make Loki king behind. Slowly, Thor turns to look at Loki.

Loki winces. "Heh, heh, merry Christmas?"

"LOKI!" Thor yells.

"Bye!" Loki squeaks, bolting out of the room.

"COME BACK HERE!" Thor yells, chasing after him.

Jane sighs. "So much for sleeping in."


End file.
